Though arguments between couples are commonplace, sometimes things can take a turn for the worse turning them toxic. A Toxic relationship is hazardous to the mental and physical well being of an individual and can result in psychological trauma. Such damage may manifest in the form of symptoms such as anxiety attacks and intermittent bouts of depression.
Want to know the tell tale signs of a toxic relationship? Want to learn, how to navigate in such emotional turbulence. Here is a handy guide on how to cope with such sort of relationships as well as how to leave a toxic relationship with minimal drama
What is A Toxic Relationship?
The definition of “toxicity” may vary from person to person. However, there is a general baseline of what is a toxic relationship, that everyone agrees upon.
A toxic relationship can be defined as constant unpleasantness and useless competition in a relationship. Couples in toxic relationships are almost always engaged in power games, and are either completely unsupportive or entirely unempathetic to their partners needs.
A toxic relationship is a poison to your soul. It is a cancer that will keep on festering, no matter how much you tell yourself that things will get better.
Habits That Make A Relationship Toxic
Toxicity is not an in-built trait; it instead enters a relationship when one or both the partners start to display problematic behavior. This set of actions then become a habit and leaves the couple in agony. These habits include:
Counter Attacking Each Other
No one is perfect. Hence it is completely natural for couples to address each other’s shortcomings. However, if your partner is not open to constructive criticism, they might retaliate with scathing remarks, leading to escalation. Relationships are based upon mutual compassion and understanding. Tit for tat is a dreadful habit. Couples should understand that they are companions and not competitors.
Expecting Too Much
Humans are imperfect beings.
It is nearly impossible to find a person who will fulfil every single part of our fantasy checklist. Always thinking of what could have been is an unhealthy way of living.
Expecting more than what someone can offer will eventually lead to heartbreak and disappointment. Constantly nagging your partner to change is a recipe for disaster. Such things will cause resentment in your companion, and eventually, your relationship may turn toxic.
Being Unapologetic
Since humans are bound to make mistakes, apologizing is the right way of making things better. Nonetheless, most couples let go of the need to apologize to their partner and consider themselves justified in all manner of action or speech. Not taking into account the feeling of others.
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Holding Grudges
If you feel your partner is wrong, call them out right there and then. Failure to do so can lead you to hold grudges which will be a cause of constant strife in your relationship. Not to mention if you do not communicate your concerns to your partner, they may not even realize that which part of their behavior is causing you discomfort. Causing you to misconstrue their ignorance for hard headedness
Lying
Relationships are based on trust, and lying can ruin everything. Distrust can cause doubts and arguments, which will damage your bond with your partner.
Loss of Interest
New Couples often mistake infatuation for love. One partner might lose interest soon after starting a relationship. Resulting in them mistreating the other partner and neglecting their needs.
Why Do People Stay in a Toxic Relationship?
People deliberately choose to stay in a toxic relationship despite all odds. Firstly, this is because they believe in working on the relationship. Staying in dire circumstances and believing in a better future might be too optimistic. However, it can help when things are yet to become worse.
Secondly, social pressure might play a significant role. Couples might face pressure from relatives or close friends to remain in a “Perfect Relationship.” Though things might look perfect to others but the team may not be perfectly compatible.
Lastly, couples who largely depend on each other emotionally, financially or otherwise, might opt to remain in a relationship regardless of the damage they might suffer.
Is it Possible to Heal A Toxic Relationship?
Yes, it is.
Following few steps can help you turn a toxic relationship into a healthy one.
- All you have to do is mutually communicate and identify the problems you and your partner are facing. Also, give each other space to introspect and cut off contact for some time..
- Seeking professional help is a good option. Multiple professionals offer relationship counselling and therapy. In this way, you might try to mend your relationship.
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Ways to Get Out of a Toxic Relationship with Minimal Damage
Breaking up is easier said than done, yet some of the tried and tested ways recommended by therapists to get out of a toxic relationship are:
Communicate
Break your silence and express your feelings. Mutually discuss the toxicity and problems you are facing with your partner. Letting your feeling out will make you feel lighter, and your partner might understand your perspective. However, if the issues keep on surfacing instead of abating then amicably separate.
Do Not Blame Each Other
The blame game does nothing but make things worse. It is understood that both of you made mistakes, which led to a terrible outcome. The best you can do is to listen, acknowledge, and move on.
Seek Help
As we mentioned earlier, several therapists offer counseling for struggling relationships. These professionals, can contribute as neutral arbiters in otherwise complicated relationships. A different approach might be exactly what is needed in your relationship. But if you feel your partner is not making the effort it is most probably the time to say goodbye.
Make a Decision
Separating is and always will be an option. Once you have done everything possible to improve your relationship but see no consistent improvement. Steel yourself and make the call. Do not let things hang in between, for it can be detrimental. Make a decision and stick to it, even if it means separation forever! Though it might be the hardest step to take, it is necessary.
Focus on Yourself
Once you have ended the relationship. Do not wallow. Surround yourself with positivity, and cut off ties with your ex-partner entirely. Whenever you think of them, distract yourself with the good things you have around you. A meetup with friends might be bliss in such times.
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